Most people say that they don't have bad habits. Well this is crap. A bad habit is basically something which isn't accepted as "The Social Norm" as the Sociologists would put it.

Now there's a funny lot, sociologists. I mean, what do they ACTUALLY do?. I'll tell you what. NOTHING. Not a sausage, zero, nil, zilch. Complete Fanny Adams!. They just sit around on there fat, spotty backsides, drinking coffee, making some fatuous comment which is always along the lines of "everything in the world is basically bad" and then get themselves off by saying "against the social norm."

That brings me to another point. Isn't the English language always being messed around with?!. People are screwing it up with daft statements like "getting themselves off". What the hell is that supposed to mean?. Does it mean mean that who ever says it will get some cheap pervy thrill?. Well bugger me!. If that's all you need to do for a cheap kick, then great!. Let's get down the rape figures!. But what really gets me is why they can't use the proper language. Why is that. Why can't they do it. They can't do it as they have become Americanised.

And the race decended from British Cast Offs and General Odbods aren't content with messing our language, they have to mess our stomachs. And you know who is responsible for that don't you?

McDOGBURGERS!

Not content with European domination, they want worldwide domination. So they open up in Russia. Now everyone over here knows a Mcburgers are revolting slabs of papier mache with something lobbed on the top which is designed to stick just behind your top teeth. But Old Joe don't!. So what did that nice Ronald McDonald, that happy little clown, that jovial chap who even though he's buggered up the 3rd world, can still smile, that utter git, that slime sucking, botty licking, stupid old clown do?. Spend 14 years cutting through red tape, train the employees to put on that smile which shows off the short falls in the Russian dental system and then on the first day what happens?. The cement mixer cum milk shake maker breaks down and a piece of meat is found in a burger!.

There is an old joke which goes like: what is 5 miles long and eats cabbages?. A Russian meat queue. There is now a new one. Which queue is longer than the ones to get into McDonalds?. The queue to use the toilet next door.

Talking about toilets, have you noticed how some comedians will refer to either a normal bodily function or part of the human body just for a laugh?. This is called Toilet Humour and is the basest comedy going. So I'm going to have a go. Breathe. Ear Lobe. Knee Cap. Sweat. Knuckle. Exhale. Eye Balls.

Not funny!. And that is because I was using the wrong sort of words. No, the words needed are the likes of: Willy, Fart, Botty Burp, Boobs, Bollocks and Tits. But why?. Why is it, that you laugh?. It is because you are EMBARRASED!!!. "Ooo, 'es just said Fart!. Ooo, that's rude. Oooo ha ha ha!"

And from Toilet Humour to not such a funny side of that ilk. Is it just here, that is Liverpool or is nationwide that the Great British Lavvy is so bloody disgusting. There is one in Huyton which is terrible!. It's the sort of place that as soon as you walk in, you catch a disease!. And why?. Because some ratbag has decided to miss the basin and pee on the wall. Then because of the permanent strike (now in it 92nd year) of the Sanitry Attendants, it has started to go off. So it is there. Some pillocks urine, eating into the fabric of the very wall, just waiting, anticipating, genetically mutating and mulitplying, just waiting for some poor sod to slip on the statuary sliver of soap which has by law to be glue to the floor of every toilet, and stick his hand right in it.

Then because it is dry, this bloke will just go on about his business and as these places aren't the most hospitable of places, doesn't wash his hand before or after the events. But what he doesn't realise is because he omitted to give his hands a bit of a wash, that he will now have strains of this new disease on his hands and then his member. This may be a new form of a killer disease. Blow AIDS, this is the bollocks!. It drinks bleach, goes sunbathing and can survive outside of a body for years as for years it has been growing and changeing on that wall for it's new environment.

So this could cause the end of the whole human race just because some bloke, probably one of those halfwits who thinks that they have no bad habbits (which are usually socioligists), didn't wash his hands. MR BAD HABIT RIDES AGAIN.